Never or Later
by Emyln
Summary: COMPLETE. Ginny has fallen for someone she never thought she would. She thinks over what her decision is going to be and what her options are with some help. Oneshot. Femslash. GL. Read and Review


**..:AN: I just put this up a second ago and had to delete it cause i remembered i forgot the disclaimer and all that. Anyways I wrote this for a very special guy named Chris :P, I'm really nervous about him reading it though. Now for my actual reader peoples I know this isn't my usual ship but I wanted a challenge and fun to write. IT IS A FEMSLASH. So don't read on if you're all squirmy away from that sort of thing.  
Disclaimer: I do now own Harry Potter. Der Fred. If I owned Harry Potter I would be very rich right now and my computer wouldn't be this crappy. (it sounds like a helicopter, its very loud). I dont own Ginny and Luna either. I own the lipgloss I'm wearing, and thats about it. The plot though ees mine.  
READ AND REVIEW PLEASE:..

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There's some things that no matter how much you try to explain them, nobody will listen or take you seriously. Sometimes it's from a lack of faith, or the lack of ability to believe that something other then what you know with your own heart is genuine. Like when someone else see's the good in a person that you can't, and you just try to avoid the conversation all together.

There's also times when people don't listen because it's just something they don't want to hear. Maybe it's because they don't like how it sounds, or it shatters an illusion they've already envisioned and have held onto as something to strive at.

Mothers do that a lot of the time. They picture your first day of school and what house you'll be in, or which teachers you'll hate. They picture how you'll wear your hair at your first formal dance, or what your first kiss will be like. The one thing most mothers always dream about is your wedding day, your white dress and his clean suit. Imagine how I shattered that image when I told my mother I was in love with a woman.

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"No! Stop it, stop!" Ginny growled at herself, massaging her temples and slouching over a little more. She opened her stinging eyes to look down at her shoes, looking at the scuffs on the toes from behind her long lashes with clinging tears attached.

She was sitting alone in the Charms classroom on one of the tables. The cold of Christmas blowing against the window panes and echoing a eerie rattling into the stone room. Ginny pulled her robe around her legs and let her head rest in her palms, holding back the urge to sob. After all, the world can't hear you breaking if you don't make a sound.

"I have to stop thinking about this." she thought to herself firmly. She wiped her eyes on her sleeve and then grimaced, being disgusted with the gesture.

She had been holding in so many emotions for so long she was getting to the point where she couldn't hold it in anymore. She was so beyond confused and lost that she felt more alone then she ever had in her life. The one person she should be able to ask for advice was the one that was causing her the most grief.

Ginny sighed raking her hand through her hair and staring out the window at the drifting snowflakes. That's how she wished she was, light and drifting. She was tired of being heavy with confusion and pent up feelings that she didn't know how to express. She was tired of being the cliché one who wallows in self angst and depression just because she was too afraid to late anyone else in. But how could she?

Sure saying she was in love was hard to admit, to herself and anyone else. But this..this was something completely different. Well, to her it wasn't different. It was the same sweaty palms, heart racing, lusty breathing and confused babbling it was with everyone else. But to everyone else, it was something else.

There were so many times that she had been so close to realizing she was in love. But somehow never seemed to really grasp it properly. It either seemed to make so little sense it was ludicrous or it made so much sense it was too easy.

Those eyes. She pictured them in her mind as she had so many times before. Those bright, wide blue eyes. Those eyes that would bring her back down to earth no matter how high she was, or how close she was to crying sometimes those eyes were all it took to make her smile.

"I'm in love with my best friend." Ginny whispered aloud. It washed over her in both relief and paranoia. "I'm in love with Luna." she said laying back onto the desk and propping up one leg. She closed her eyes and let her confused mind drift.

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"So what do you want to do until we start our homework?" Luna asked, combing her long blonde hair with her fingers. Her eyes snapped shut as she found a large section of tangles, Ginny laughed as she tried to pry her hands out with difficulty.

Ginny shifted close to Luna, crossing her legs and helping her get out the knots with gentle fingers.

"I don't really know, it's not too bad out here. We might as well enjoy the tolerable weather while we still have it. It's going to be snowing soon so sitting outside without turning into icicles seems like a fine idea." Ginny shrugged, continuing to loosen what was left of the tangles. A chill breeze swept around them from their spot by the greenhouses where they were sitting in the damp grass causing them to think of the coming winter.

"I love winter." Luna sighed.

"I know." Ginny laughed. "That's why you're insane."

"You like my insanity." Luna said shaking her head, wincing a little as her hair pulled in Ginny's hands.

"I know."

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"Are you aware that you're attempting to count the hairs on a toad?" Ginny asked while watching Luna's bright eyes wander over the toad, then her.

"Yes I am." Luna nodded, pulling a strand of hair behind her ear to reveal her raddish earrings. Ginny looked at her ear, it was rather small and delicate and the earrings seemed to pull a little with their weight. They looked soft like the skin on her neck, her face, her collar..

"Er. Why? Toad's don't have hair do they?" Ginny asked, clearing her throat.

"I don't really know, that's why I'm attempting to count." Luna said in her dreamy tone, as if Ginny should have known. As if it was the most normal thing to do, as if anyone should have realized.

"Then why don't you just try to see if has any? Instead of counting?" Ginny asked, looking at Luna's fingers as they ran over the stunned toad. She watched it's small, beady eyes moving back in forth on the sides of its head as it puffed out its nostrils.

"Because one of them is a tad more hopeful don't you think?" Luna shrugged. Ginny would have laughed at the sincerity she was using towards a toad, but it got caught in her throat when she saw the fierceness in Luna's eyes. She didn't know why Luna was looking at her like that, but suddenly she felt very aware of herself.

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Ginny sat down in the library and slammed her books down in a secluded corner. She slammed herself down on the chair after them, let her head fall onto the desk dully and closed her eyes.

The cold of the wood worked its way into her flushed cheeks, slowly creeping across her face and making her shiver. Pulling her robes closer around her Ginny tried to steady her breathing and come to her senses.

She had almost kissed Luna by accident after flying practice. She had come so close to pushing the voices away that were telling her to not do it and to walk away. But in a last moment of panic she had settled for kissing Luna's head in the friend like way many girls did constantly.

But something in Luna's eyes has thrown her off her cover-up. Those eyes made Ginny think that Luna had seen through her, that somehow Luna knew what she had meant to do. Ginny couldn't stand to see Luna crying, and in those seldom moments where Luna actually did cry Ginny was always there. But this time she wanted to comfort her differently, and that thought scared Ginny. If it scared her then she couldn't imagine how much it would scare Luna.

She looked up as she heard voices entering the library and realized how easy it was to be found here. There was no way in hell she could face Luna now, not yet. Panicked, she left her books and dashed out of the library and into the hall as quickly as she could, looking for somewhere quiet to think.

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Ginny's eyes fluttered open slowly, sighing tiredly and happily as she felt someone stroking her hair gently. Looking up she saw Luna sitting cross legged by her on the desk, her eyes widened when she woke up.

"Hey." Ginny said quietly as she sat up slowly.

"Hi." said Luna as she tucked her hair behind her hair and crossed her arms. Ginny noticed her hands looked a little shaky, as though she was nervous.

"What are you doing here? I must have fallen asleep.." Ginny said looking around.

"You did, I was looking for you. I found you here I just thought I'd let you sleep though." she said, a slight tinge of crimson crawling into her fair cheeks. Ginny sighed and looked down at her hands, crossing her legs and looking over the classroom.

She felt like her brain was going so fast she couldn't grasp onto a single thing to say. Ginny couldn't think of one excuse for what she had almost done or what she wanted to say, in fact she wasn't sure if she wanted to say it yet at all.

"Gin?" Luna asked quietly. Ginny looked up to see Luna looking at her, over her really and it made Ginny suddenly feel very aware of her body and how close she was sitting to her. Ginny swallowed and looked down at her hand clenching the desk, her nails digging in small arched notches into the grain of the wood.

"Why did you try?" Luna asked in a dead whisper that Ginny barely heard at all. Ginny tilted her head back and looked at the ceiling. She was panicked, she could feel her palms slicking and her feet were moving nervously.

She parted her lips to attempt to answer, but closed them again as she was completely unsure of what to say.

"What do you want me to tell you?" Ginny replied.

"The truth?" Luna said firmly. "Why wont you look at me?" Ginny felt Luna grab her face and tilt it to look straight at her.

"I doubt it's something you want to hear." Ginny laughed bitterly. But Luna wouldn't let her face go and she was distracted enough as it is. Ginny sighed and tossed up her hand into the air slightly.

"Because I think I'm in love with you. There, are you happy? Does that clear your conscience?" Ginny said leaning forward on her desk, letting the curtain of hair fall back in front of her face. She was on the verge of tears, but as scared as she was how this would ruin everything, it felt a little better to say it.

Ginny heard Luna slide off the desk and her feet hit the floor, waiting for the steps that would signal Luna leaving Ginny waited expectantly. When she felt someone pull back her hair she was startled to see Luna giving her a weak smile.

"Yeah, I am happy." Luna whispered. Ginny narrowed her eyes looking over Luna's face, her bright eyes and her small lips. But before she knew what she was doing she pulled Luna towards her and covered her lips with her own.

Luna slipped her arms around Ginny's frame, pulling her of the desk, to her feet and pressing herself against her. Ginny let herself indulge and wove her fingers through Luna's soft hair as the kiss deepened.

Ginny finally broke off, not wanting to startle Luna she kissed her again gently before she ruined everything.

"What are we doing?" Ginny asked quietly.

"Well I thought it was pretty obvious, but I mean there are some wizards in Italy who kiss to say hello. They also wear inflated raccoons on their heads but that's only when they celebrate.." Ginny laughed and put her fingers to Luna's lips.

"No, I mean what are _we _attempting here?" she let her fingers slip from Luna's hair and interlaced her hand with Luna's long slender fingers. Luna's bright eyes wandered from Ginny's face, down to their hands and back again.

"Well it seems we have two choices." Luna breathed quietly, letting herself kiss below Ginny's eyes.

"And they are?" Ginny whispered.

"We can ignore this, go on pretending we're just friends and nothing ever happened. Or we could keep doing what we're doing and worry about what we're going to do when people know later." Luna suggested. Ginny's heart was hammering in her chest and it was echoing into her ears loudly, she tried to let herself think clearly but only one answer was screaming through the steady beats in her head.

"Later." She said quickly before kissing Luna fiercely again. While they stood together in the empty classroom as the wind howled outside the thoughts of how they'd keep this up and what could happen were lost in their lips, but later could come all too soon.

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**..:So there ya go. One shot. The end. Finished. Done. Over. baha. And I'm done >.> I think i went a tad header rule crazy butthats okay. :..**


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